Hightea XX (ppaku) wrote,
Hightea XX
ppaku

SO. OVER. IT.

I'm so over school.  Like for realz.  I just need to finish this one paper, then get through finals (which I never worry about) and then it'll be clear blue skies!  I hope anyways...

No big plans for the summer this year.  No extravagant trips to Japan or Hong Kong unfortunately.  I wish, but alas I don't have the money.  Maybe it's because of my latest "brand conquest"?  I'm a terrible materialistic slave to the capitalist machine that is luxury brands, fashion and make up.  And I love every moment of it.

This summer I hope to spend a lot of great times downtown.  I want to go and explore the city with my camera.  It's not SLR, and I am no Victoria, but I still want to go and explore the city.  I've lived here for so long and I feel like I don't really know the city at all.  I also want to start swimming regularly.  Maybe even go to the gym (bwahahaha like that'll happen!).  I don't know if I'm going to be working as much as I have in previous years (no "regular" work is in the future at the moment, just freelancing) so I want to at least be doing something productive, and not expensive. 

This summer might be the last with a lot of my good friends.  I want to make the most out of it.  I want to have so many laughs that when I'm cutting myself in the bathtub at the end of next summer, I will at least have the good memories to keep me company until I lose consciousness.  Ok, in all seriousness I just want to have a lot of memories, take a lot of pictures, laugh like I've never laughed before and live like the world is ending.

I think school as disconnected me from my humanity.  It's weird to say it, but school can be so cold sometimes.  I love what I'm studying, don't get me wrong.  There's nothing that makes me feel as proud as making a great point in a class discussion.  But it's all so intellectual (well shit!).  I don't feel any heart.  I feel disconnected from my art, whatever that might be.  At one time it was drawing and painting.  Then it was make up.  Even now I feel disconnected from it.  My make up has been reduced to such simplistic terms.  It's always the same look, always the same formula.  There isn't any fun in it.  There isn't any wow factor anymore.  It's all so mundane.  I want to be inspired again to create something.  I want to write, I want to sing, I want to be.


 

In closing I'd like to give a shout-out to Metric's new album, Fantasies, which is another amazing innovation of their ever progressing sound.  I think they's found a compromise between their indie rock sound from Old World Underground, Where Are You Now? and Live it Out with Grow Up And Blow Away and the "inspiring" (read: depressing) offerings of Haines' solo works.  It has just enough "down" mixed with just enough "rock".
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