Hightea XX (ppaku) wrote,
Hightea XX
ppaku

お別れですか

別れって言う言葉、意味はよく解らない。理解できない。今後は会えないの?高校を卒業した時は違った。友達皆オタワ出身から、何時かここに帰るんだ。でも大学は違うんだ。今日友達二人にお別れします。今度会える時はぜんぜん知らない。年末かな?来年かな?もう会えなかった、僕はどうする?どうしたらいいんですか?泣きたいけど泣けない。苦しくて、涙は来ない。

Today I said goodbye to two friends.  One I didn't know for very long, and we weren't very close.  But I think we were getting close.  He's a good guy, and I wish we could have hung out together more.  The other I've known since 1st year.  She was my first Japanese friend in university, and one of the friends I've known the longest.  Both of them will return to Japan and live out their lives.  I will miss them both.

What scares me about the next few days is how many times I'm going to have to say things like "goodbye".  Of course I've been saying more "I'll see you later"s.  But I don't know when "later" is.  This year?  Next year?  Maybe never?  I feel like I'm living out the hedgehog dilemma.  Do we meet people only to one day say goodbye?  In trying to know others, are we ultimately left with wounds?
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